Sunday, January 1, 2012

The adventures of being a housewife.

"Stupid title. Being a house wife is boring and not adventurous. Housewives get fat and boring. And none of their single friends like them anymore." That's what you're thinking.


BEING A HOUSEWIFE IS HARD. And it's only been like three days...

Like the other day.... I had to go buy a bag of flour. And the bag was really heavy. And no one would come help me. Cause I had a ring on my finger. And then I got up to the counter and the lady over charged me by 2 dollars. 2 DOLLARS! Are you kidding me?! So I got up in her face. I was like "Look lady. I'm married now. And I'm watching my budget like a killer hawk. So give me my 2 dollars back so that I can afford breakfast tomorrow." I had to crawl to my car after that. That experience took a lot out of me.
Just hauling the flour to my pantry. SUPER. HARD.

I'm having an identity crisis because I have to sign everything "Katie Jane Johnson" instead of "Katie Jane Elliott". Identity crisis' are hard. Especially when you have a new name like Johnson. FUN FACT: Johnson happens to be the second most common last name in the United States.  It takes me 4 minutes to sign Johnson in cursive. It is WAY exciting.

House chores are mind blowingly intense. Especially since I turned them into "Housewife Olympics", in order to convince Neil that I'm a good housewife. Housewife Olympics are hard. Speed ironing. Long jump bed making. Heavy weight box lifting. They're all intense games and I continue to improve my personal best. It's really crazy.
Neil relaxing on his freshly made bed.
Little does he know, a few short hours ago I
was sweating it out with my long jump
bed making. 

I know that a lot of you are sad that you aren't married. I understand that's all you wish for everyday. And I know that hearing about all my exciting adventures and intense moments just make you desire it even more. Sorry bout that. Maybe someday soon you will be racing to have a lavish breakfast ready for your husband who woke up 40 minutes late to eat just in the nick of time. And you will think to yourself "My life is so exciting."


  1. how sweet katie! i'm glad you're having such fun being married :)

  2. Dearest Katie:
    This is Jeremy Miner!! Mwahahaha, I have read your blog and I love it to death. I died laughing haha... but seriously, it was awesome. These housewife olympics sound pretty crazy, you should start a show or do like a video commentary of your experiences. Make sure to make it very over exaggerated and make your life seem very hard. I love it! Your awesome!!
    Jeremy Thomas Miner
    aka Jedi Master Miner O.o