Wednesday, March 28, 2012

This is a guest review of "The Lazy Lizard" in Moab, UT.

This weekend we went on a trip to Moab to do Granary Canyon. And Granary canyon we did. See here:
That's Bryan with me. Just making sure he doesn't fall to
the big boulders below.

All of us at the top while Daina repels.

Dakota modeling some water.

After we finished, everyone wanted a shower. So Neil suggested we sleep at a hostel for the night. Yay. I immediately did not want a shower.

Buuuut we ended up at the lazy lizard anyway.

And this is the part where I wanted to die. Kill me dead. Because if there's one thing that creeps the crap outta me, it's hotels. Add an extra "s" and it makes hoStels. And that little "s" makes life significantly worse. Panic attack mode. Go!

But being the tough girl I am, I took it like a man. And became roommates with Neil, Bryan and Dakota.

The gentleman at the front desk was very nice. He was definitely high. Very high. Fried. Sizzled. Gone-zo. Stoned. But very pleasant nonetheless. And informative. He informed us that we were not allowed to bring a sleepingbag or pillow inside. Due to bed bugs. Fantastic. He gave us the key to our room and up the stairs we went.
"Welcome to my dusty hell hostel."

The room was nicely decorated. Fantastic pictures. Great mood lighting. And thank goodness for the milk crates underneath our bed to hold us up. Also the bedding was clean and crisp...y.
Soft chairs.
Super great decor.

The hostel got even better with my shower. The women's shower was truly a delight.

Took me a second to find a spot on the shower
curtain that I could touch without getting
a handful of mildew. But I totally got it.

There were a variety of soaps and shampoos to choose from. All of which were empty. But don't fret. I got an amazing "rinse off". In my socks.
Soap selection. Left by previous tenants. 

A nice bathroom closet filled with all
the essentials.

My threadbare towel. But who cares when it
has all your favorite Space Jam characters on it.

When it was time for bed I pulled my hood over my head, and wrapped my body up as much as possible in order to prevent any skin from contacting the bedding. Ya know. To avoid bed bugs from transferring back and forth from sheets to skin.

I lay perfectly still. All night. Perfectly. Still.

Everyone slept great. Minus me. Maybe because I wasn't actually a man. The hostel knew I was a poser.

All in all, as far as ratings go, I'd give the Lazy Lizard 0 stars out of 5.

But I will give them 1 lizard.... in fact, I'll even give them 1 whole LAZY lizard rating.

Thanks Lazy Lizard.
That was an exquisite time.