Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I'm all getting married and such.

I hate weddings. I LOVE NEIL. But I hate weddings. And I hate weddings a little more extra.

Neil and I had pictures taken for our announcements. And since we looked so hot in so many of them, we couldn't agree on which one to send out to people. So we split it up. One to my side of the family and friends. Another to his side of the family and friends.

Guess which one Neil chose. Guess which one I chose.

Times up.

Turns out, for whatever chest-rash-inducing reason, my picture didn't make it to most of my side of family and friends... (Pray that Neil's family didn't get my chosen picture. I have a feeling they wouldn't enjoy it as much.)
And surprisingly....people are upset about this?? Bah. Chill. I resent my picture to you kiddos. Give it a few days and then your life will be whole again.

Now allow me to refer back to that "chest-rash-inducing" that I highlighted in gold a few lines back. I had an awakening this week. A marriage awakening.

Text Conversation:
Friend Niccole: Hey gurrrl! Wanna go out and grab a snack? We've been studying for so long and we need a break.

Katie Jane: Oh man! I so would but Neil just got here and I've gotta clear up the poor little rash on his chest!

Friend Niccole: Ew

Then it hit me................. I'm totally getting married.

In one of my last classes, right before a final, I had 4 beautiful girls approach me. They handed me a gift with a sweet little card in which they had all written in. It was a wedding gift. They had all discovered I was getting married a few days earlier. They wanted to wish me well and say goodbye as I will be moving at the end of this week. And in their sweet sweet glorious wonderfulness, bought me a very nice mixing bowl with whisks and scrubby sponges.

How nice right? NOOO. NOT. COOL.

I. Don't. Know. Their. Names.

Then to make a bad situation worse, one started crying. *I'll allow you to pause here to feel really awkward with me.*

I'm thinking: "Did I miss something here? It's marriage. Not death. Wait. Is someone not telling me something about marriage??"

I didn't know what to do. So I just walked off. Awkwardly of course.

Now I really should write them a thank you note, and check to make sure the one isn't still crying.

And I will.

As soon as a track down those names......

Monday, December 5, 2011

Bad Katie.

Last week, I had to go fight an insurance ticket. I couldn't find the proof of insurance in my car. So the meany-pants cop gave me a ticket. What the cop didn't realize is: NO ONE GIVES KATIE A TICKET.

I showed up in the court waiting room at the little Riverdale police department. And I was asked to to be seated while I waited for my ticket to be checked.

There wasn't much of a choice for seating.

A. Sit by a cute little kid.
     -Wearing handcuffs and feet shackles.
     -Sporting a nice Juvenile Detention uniform.
     -Looks like he's never bathed a day in his life.
     -Smells like he's never bathed a day in his life.
     -Slight chance he may soak his arms in sour milk everyday. Why? I'm sure I'll never know.
SUMMARY: I'm pretty sure the only crime he committed was never showering. Ever. CRIME! Oh the crime we see these days...

B. Sit by a guy.
     -That weighs at least 100 lbs more than the cop sitting in the corner.
     -Also handcuffed and feet shackled
     -(Remind me if I'm wrong, but don't you have to be in some serious trouble to have your feet chained     together??)
     -Sporting a nice prison uniform.
SUMMARY: I had an imagination moment. In a mental battle between this guy and the corner-cop.... the guy killed the corner-cop. I saw it. In my head. This guy was scary.

C. Sit by lady holding baby.
     -Lady hunched over baby. Rocking it. I think the rocking was some sort of.... tick.
     -Talked about when the baby was going to poop.
     -Talked about who would change its pants and other weird things you don't talk to a baby about.
     -Mumbled a lot.
     -Had crazy lady hair. All stringy and grey.
SUMMARY: That. Poor. Baby. I don't know who's it was. Why she was there. Or what she was talking about. But I immediately knew... kidnapper.

Oh the options!!! This was great! I just couldn't decide who to sit by! They all looked like really awesome sitting buddies. And as I stood there trying to decide...

It hit me.

These guys are COOL. Smelly juvenile kid! Huge killer guy! Crazy baby lady! And then.... girl with an insurance ticket. Booo! Hiss! LAME!

So I changed my ticket up a bit.

Awesome Drug Trafficker! Bad Katie...WIN!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Tony Little came to say hi on my last day of work.

Today was my last day of working at Al's Sporting Goods (We don't want everybody's business, just yours). Sad? Pretty much not. Ok ok. I'm gonna miss my Als Pals.  Most of them. Cause I love them so dearly and they've been so good to me. But other than that.... I'm happy to get away from the evil.
Let me repeat: We don't want everybody's business
(So don't bring your friends because
we're pretty sure they're gonna steal something.)

But guess who came to wish me well on my last day of work??
This guy!! Do you recognize him??


How about if I add his Gazelle machine?


Ok ok. It's Tony Little! Come on guys! He does infomercials for exercise equipment! He's pretty much a workout equipment superstar!

This was pretty much our interaction today.          


Ok I lied. We pretty much just looked at each other lots.

He walked into my shoe department and started touching every shoe that was within reach. He's short. First I couldn't stop staring cause I knew that I knew him from somewhere. Then I couldn't stop staring because his hair flowed gorgeously from his workout hat.  My hair will never be that amazing, I thought to myself. Then when I walked up to him and asked if he needed help, I noticed he had a heavy amount of MAKEUP on.

Let the stare off begin.

I starred thinking "Who IS this guy??"

He starred back thinking "I wish I wasn't so famous and ripped!! There's no one that can take their eyes off me!"

After our stare off we became best friends forever.


They say he headlocks people he really likes.

*Sigh* The friendship and headlock is also a lie. But a really nice thought...