Last week, I had to go fight an insurance ticket. I couldn't find the proof of insurance in my car. So the meany-pants cop gave me a ticket. What the cop didn't realize is: NO ONE GIVES KATIE A TICKET.
I showed up in the court waiting room at the little Riverdale police department. And I was asked to to be seated while I waited for my ticket to be checked.
There wasn't much of a choice for seating.
A. Sit by a cute little kid.
-Wearing handcuffs and feet shackles.
-Sporting a nice Juvenile Detention uniform.
-Looks like he's never bathed a day in his life.
-Smells like he's never bathed a day in his life.
-Slight chance he may soak his arms in sour milk everyday. Why? I'm sure I'll never know.
SUMMARY: I'm pretty sure the only crime he committed was never showering. Ever. CRIME! Oh the crime we see these days...
B. Sit by a guy.
-That weighs at least 100 lbs more than the cop sitting in the corner.
-Also handcuffed and feet shackled
-(Remind me if I'm wrong, but don't you have to be in some serious trouble to have your feet chained together??)
-Sporting a nice prison uniform.
SUMMARY: I had an imagination moment. In a mental battle between this guy and the corner-cop.... the guy killed the corner-cop. I saw it. In my head. This guy was scary.
C. Sit by lady holding baby.
-Lady hunched over baby. Rocking it. I think the rocking was some sort of.... tick.
-Talked about when the baby was going to poop.
-Talked about who would change its pants and other weird things you don't talk to a baby about.
-Mumbled a lot.
-Had crazy lady hair. All stringy and grey.
SUMMARY: That. Poor. Baby. I don't know who's it was. Why she was there. Or what she was talking about. But I immediately knew... kidnapper.
Oh the options!!! This was great! I just couldn't decide who to sit by! They all looked like really awesome sitting buddies. And as I stood there trying to decide...
It hit me.
These guys are COOL. Smelly juvenile kid! Huge killer guy! Crazy baby lady! And then.... girl with an insurance ticket. Booo! Hiss! LAME!
So I changed my ticket up a bit.
Awesome Drug Trafficker! Bad Katie...WIN!