On the subject of farts.

I hate farts. I think they're gross. Not cute. Not funny. Gross. And I think it's super immature when people talk about them. But in true Katie fashion, I'm going to continue to get annoyed when other people do it, but do it myself anyway.

Fart discussion, go!

The only people I fart openly in front of are my parents and Neil. Because I know they still have to love me unconditionally after it has cleared.

FARTS IN THE PAST:
In my younger years I would sneak one out next to the nearest kid I didn't like.
Target "Cool Dressed 90's Kid That Everyone Likes and No One Thinks Is Weird".
Release gas near "Cool Dressed 90's Kid That Everyone Likes and No One Thinks Is Weird".
Everyone complains about smell.
Loudly exclaim that I heard "Cool Dressed 90's Kid That Everyone Likes and No One Thinks Is Weird" rip it.
Feel cool.
It was my little way of feeling better about the fact that no one liked me and everyone thought I was weird. It's probably how I survived school. That's also probably how I managed to keep my self esteem in tact...knowing I have the power to blame farts on other people.

Me as the uncool 90's child.
Successful at blaming farts on others.
Dressed as a cat.

FARTS ON THIS DAY:
Today, I let a small one loose while alone on the library elevator. I just had to.
Elevator doors open.
I walk out.
People walk in.
I realize I'm on the wrong floor.
I get back on the same elevator with new elevator companions.
*pause*
10 Awkward Seconds in my newly formed "gas chamber" or...erm... unreasonably slow motioned elevator.

"No I swear. It was that little 90's kid in the corner. Seriously."

Me as an uncool 20-year-old.
Lost touch with blaming capabilities.
Still dressed as a cat??