I really should be a detective.

So you may have heard that my wallet was stolen (in a sense.... like, I definitely didn't leave it on top of my car and drive away in the middle of the Salt Lake Ghetto-homeless-tastic area. I mean, who would be stupid enough to do that??).

So when I ran into the 7-Eleven to buy snacks for work today, I had to bring my checkbook, the only remaining source of money I have.

"Heh. Heh. I only have checks! My wallet was stolen
the other day."

"It was stolen?! That's awful! Who does that these days?"
(Dead Serious. That's what he said.)

5 PROBLEMS WITH CASHIER'S RESPONSE:

1. He looked like he'd stolen a few wallets in his day (maybe, oh I dunno, on Tuesday night in the Salt Lake Ghetto-homeless-tastic area??)

2. His response was VERY sarcastic. (Sarcastic people steal things.) 

3. He was definitely making fun of me. (Mean people steal things too.)

4. After his response, he asked for my ID, which ho ho he he ha ha....is in my wallet. (Which he stole.)

    Which brings me to 5.

5. I'm now positive this man stole my wallet.

"You. Jerk."